Arrrgggh! Heeeerrrrre comes Mikeeeeey!

No sooner had Americans of Heritage exhaled a sigh of relief that yet another legislative attempt to redefine this nation into another Brazil had been averted, in stumbles Congressman Mike Pence with his gaggle of equally-stupid ideas about how to outsource the future determinations of who we are as a nation and a culture. There is nothing more onerous to the future of any morally-founded nation than a proposal to sell its right of self-determination on the open market to amoral globalist-leaning corporate conglomerates.

The more I think about Pence’s ideas, the more I’m left wondering whether or not this Hoosier Congressman is getting some sort of payoff from Helen Kriebel… or perhaps Ms. Kriebel has something on Congressman Pence that compels him to do her bidding.

For clarity, we have to understand that the motivation that drives Ms. Kriebel toward her particular take on how best to destroy our heritage through open borders is that she actually has resisted hiring illegal aliens and it has hurt her competitive position. So, she thinks the right way to deal with her problem is to make the illegality of what she’d like to do simply evaporate. While I do agree with Helen on some of what she believes, I consider it the height of idiocy that she expects the fear of government enforcement to keep the corporations that would process and certify illegal aliens on their path to legitimacy — and citizenship — free from fraud and corruption. In short, she expects the same sorts of amoral entities that caused the biggest part of our illegal alien problem today to work legitimately in the best interests of American citizens tomorrow. Also, she expects the Mexicans and the citizens of other mordida-culture-accepting nations, who would have to be hired in those nations to process applications, to care about America first. That’s absurd.

It’s an insipid and intellectually-demeaning set of assumptions you’re selling, Helen. I can’t for the life of me figure out how any true conservative could propose this kind of crap you’ve convinced Pence to propose if you haven’t put cash in his freezer or know of some pretty ugly skeletons in his closet.

Here’s Pence’s bill-resurrection letter to today’s Washington Times:

Why I was opposed - Commentary - The Washington Times, America’s Newspaper

The third step is to put in place a temporary worker program, without amnesty, that will establish “Ellis Island Centers” outside the country where private sector employment firms can match employers with willing temporary workers who pass a background check and learn English.

And here’s to hoping that Helen’s concepts are quickly crushed beneath the weight of Mike’s stupidity. I’d go on about this, but rather than reinvent the wheel, I’d instead like to redirect my readers’ attention to a previous full-Fisk post of mine that I wrote when Pence first floated his travesty last summer:

Fisking Pence

Reposted from 7/15/2006

I had the displeasure of listening to Congressman Mike Pence spin his asinine “No Amnesty Immigration Reform” on Rush Limbaugh’s show yesterday. I wanted to shoot my car radio; I hate it when Congresscritters lie, which is why I suppose I’ disturbed when some of them breathe, but when a supposed Conservative sells out to a single person with a vested interest in an ample supply of cheap, compliant labor, then crafts a house of lies to sell it, I get really ticked off.

The Pence Plan Draft is a 280-page monster, so I’m just going to fisk his “executive summary” today:

Executive Summary: The Pence Plan: No Amnesty Immigration Reform

“The Border Integrity and Immigration Reform Act is a bill that is tough on border security and tough on employers who hire illegal aliens, but recognizes the need for a guest worker program that operates without amnesty and without growing into a huge new government bureaucracy.”
-Rep. Mike Pence

Let’s see how disingenuous Pence really is.

The following is an Executive Summary of the Pence Plan: No Amnesty Immigration Reform. The summary is based on excerpts from remarks that U.S. Congressman Mike Pence delivered at The Heritage Foundation on Tuesday May 23, 2006, entitled “Renewing the American Dream: The Real Rational Middle Ground on Immigration Reform.” The entire speech may be read at: http://www.mikepence.house.gov/News/DocumentSingle.aspx?DocumentID=45134.

Mike, repeating that “No Amnesty” drivel ad nauseum will never make it true. But that’s not your point, is it? You’re hoping to convince enough of the gullible with your lie to fulfill Helen Kriebel’s Kervorkianesque dreams for America, aren’t you?

The Four-Step Solution: No Amnesty Immigration ReformI see the solution as a four-step process:

1. Secure our border.

2. Make the decision, once and for all, to deny amnesty to people whose first act in the United States was a violation of the law.

3. Put in place a guest worker program, without amnesty, that will efficiently provide American employers with willing guest workers who come to America legally.

4. Enforce tough employer sanctions that ensure a full partnership between American business and the American government in the enforcement of our laws on immigration and guest workers.

It makes for a nice sound bite, Mike. Too bad point two is false, point three is laughably unworkable and the Simpson-Mazzoli debacle proved to anyone with the intellectual capacity to do a child’s connect-the-dots puzzle that point four will never happen if the first three things happen.

Step One: Secure the border

A nation without borders is not a nation, and across this country Americans are anxious about the security of our border. In 2005, Customs and Border Patrol stopped 1,189,114 people from illegally crossing the border. Of that number, approximately 165,000 were from countries other than Mexico.

Mike, a nation that colludes with business interests who would have us destroy it’s core culture won’t be a nation for long either.

We can control our borders. To that end, the House of Representatives got off to a great start in December 2005 by passing H.R. 4437, the Border Protection, Antiterrorism, and Illegal Immigration Control Act of 2005. The Judiciary Committee and the Homeland Security Committee put together a strong bill that will secure our borders. The Pence Plan includes H.R. 4437 in its entirety with only minor changes.

The House-passed bill adds port of entry inspectors, ends catch and release, puts to use American technology such as unmanned aerial vehicles and requires the building of a security fence across approximately 700 miles of our Southern border.

My bill mandates that the border be secured before the guest worker program can begin. It does so by requiring that the Secretary of Homeland Security certify to the President and Congress that operational control over the border has been substantially achieved prior to the implementation of the temporary guest worker program described in Step Three.

Let’s see here, Mike. So you’ve given the responsibility of “certifying” that border control has been achieved to an agency with a vested interest in making such certification regardless of whether or not actual border security is in place. You’re going to let bureaucrats, who can be and often are influenced by special interests outside the spotlight of the legislative process, give Congress assurances that all is hunky dory. Really? And you expect thoughtful, rational people to buy into this? The thought makes me want to IRCA.

Step Two: Say no to amnesty in any form

My bill offers a no amnesty solution to the problem of twelve million illegal aliens living in our country. Some argue that there is no amnesty if these twelve million illegal aliens are required to pay a fine or back taxes. I disagree. That is what the Senate passed. I believe no bill is better than a bad bill that grants amnesty to millions of illegal immigrants.

Amnesty is not the answer. It only will worsen the problem because it will cause more people to come here illegally with the hope of someday having their status adjusted. Amnesty is allowing people whose first act in America was an illegal act to get right with the law without leaving the country. Allowing twelve million illegal aliens to stay in our country instead of leaving and coming back legally is amnesty, no matter if fines or back taxes are paid, or how it is otherwise dressed-up or spun by its proponents. The only way to deal with these twelve million people is to insist that they leave the country and come back legally if they have a job awaiting them.

Tsk, tsk, Mike. You’re being so disingenuous that you have to come up with your own, new, created-from-whole-cloth definition of amnesty in order to even be able to call it “not an amnesty.” Shame on you! This is more than an amnesty, it’s an amnesty plus benefit! Simply because an illegal alien leaves the nation for what amounts to nothing more than a vacation, it should never absolve him of the crimes of illegal entry, illegal presence, identity theft, social security fraud, tax evasion, etc.

Would you also propose a program that gives me absolution-by-vacation were I to not pay my taxes, steal someone’s identity and break numerous other laws? How serious a nation would ever let me go bask on a beach somewhere with my trusty laptop and while there, via email, notify the IRS, the FBI and my local police of my crimes and by doing so be immune to punishment upon my return? Do you have such a weak connection to the importance of the rule of law that you’re willing to set this sort of precedent? Mike, I’m ashamed of you.

Step Three: Enact a no amnesty guest worker program using private-sector firms

Therefore, the solution is to set up a system that will encourage illegal aliens to self-deport and come back legally as guest workers. Private worker placement agencies that we could call “Ellis Island Centers” will be licensed by the federal government to match willing guest workers with jobs in America that employers cannot fill with American workers.

Mike. You want to put into law codification that there are “jobs that Americans won’t do.” That’s sick.

U.S. employers will engage the private agencies and request guest workers. In a matter of days, the private agencies will match guest workers with jobs, perform health screenings, fingerprinting, provide the appropriate information to the FBI and Homeland Security so that a background check can be performed and provide the guest worker with a visa granted by the State Department. The visa will be issued only outside of the United States.

Yesterday you kept emphasizing the term “private sector” over and over and over. Your inflection started me thinking what this actually means: You don’t ever want anyone to consider that this “private sector” part of your plan will actually, by necessity, involve the hiring of Mexican citizens by American firms to do the certification work and health screenings. Your plan interjects people into the process who live in a culture in which “la mordida” bribery is standard operating procedure. You might as well give the job of “certifying” that our borders are secure to the same outsourcers; they’d be just as reliable.

And you want Mexican doctors to certify the health status of people who are leaving? Think about that for a minute. Please.

The process that I just described to you will only take a matter of one week, or less. That is the beauty of the program. Speed is so important. No employer in America wants to lose employees for an extended amount of time. No worker who is earning money to feed and clothe a family can afford to be off the job for long.

Yeah, Mike. The faster the better. The bribed feel more comfort when those who paid it are gone quickly.

But, an employer faced with a looming requirement to verify the legality of its employees and stiff fines for employing illegal aliens will be willing to use a quick system to obtain legal employees. And, an illegal alien currently employed in America will be willing to take a quick trip across the border to come back outside of the shadows and into a job where he does not fear a raid by Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

Yes Mike, illegal aliens would be less afraid of having to pony up la mordida to the Mexican workers at Ellis Island centers to get legit than of getting caught by immigration law enforcement. And your point is?

Imagine for a moment asking millions of people to line up at the U.S. Consulate in Mexico City to obtain a visa to come to America and work as a guest worker. It would be a disaster. Now, imagine private companies competing against each other to process guest worker applicants and match the applicants with open jobs. Imagine the application of American business ingenuity to this process. That, my friends, is why this program will work.

Imagine Mexicans running the show to decide who gets amnesty from their crimes and, eventually, American citizenship; that is, imagine it beyond the influence Mexicans already have on our processes through their insidious consular offices and massive illegal presence.

-Limited number of guest worker visas
The number of guest workers will be limited. After the program is up and running, there will be a period of three years when the market and the needs of U.S. employers will set the limit on the number of guest workers. Not letting the market and the needs of employers govern the number of guest workers initially will prevent illegal aliens from being willing to self-deport. After three years of the program, a reasonable limit on the number of W Visas will be determined by the Department of Labor based on employment statistics, employer needs and other research. After the three-year window has closed, this limit will be strictly enforced.

Three years without any limits on the 5 billion people in the world who might like to come take advantage of us is a long freaking time, Mike.

-Limited time to be a guest worker in America
There also will be a limit on the amount of time a guest worker can spend in America. Guest workers will be allowed to renew their W Visas, but only for a period of up to six years. At that point, the guest should decide whether to return home or enter the separate process of seeking citizenship. We cannot have people coming to America as permanent guest workers. That is why having a six-year limit is important. It keeps the meaning of the word “guest” in guest worker.

That’s not a limit, Mike. That’s a renewal that allows even more time for these workers to have anchor babies and import their extended families. Do you expect us to believe that after six years someone will voluntarily deport? Or wouldn’t it be more realistic for us to expect they will simply enter your pathway to citizenship regardless of their desire to become Americans? All you want to do is convert someone via amnesty from illegal alien status to guest worker status via la mordida to citizenship for the sake of convenience. Voila! No more illegal aliens! No more guest workers! Millons of new “citizens” who don’t give a darned about my nation! What a concept!

-English proficiency required for first renewal
In order to receive their first renewal, guest workers will be required to study English and pass an English proficiency class. If America is willing to invite you to come and work, I believe that after two years of working here, the guest worker should be willing and able to speak basic English. They also will be required to pass an updated background check. We are not going to allow criminals to come and work in America.

Mike, this is so non-sequitur it astounds me! What you actually would have them do is pay for the English courses, but there is no guarantee that they will actually have to do a thing. The cottage industry that crops up to serve this “market” is sure to be honest, above board and concerned entirely with results, right? What a gut buster! Your “we are not going to allow criminals to come and work in America” line takes the cake because what your whole plan is designed to do is to allow those who have committed crimes to come and work…not just work…but to stay here forever and bring their extended families: Just like the Senate bill.

-Secure identification cards
The W Visas themselves will be issued in the form of secure wallet-sized cards, similar to the cards described and endorsed by the President. Employers will swipe them to verify the guest worker’s eligibility. Border patrol agents will swipe the cards to confirm the guest worker is allowed to enter the country. The card will contain information about the job the guest worker is coming to perform, and it will contain personal and biometric information so that the guest worker can be tracked. If a guest worker is fired, convicted of a crime, or just disappears, the card will be cancelled, preventing another employer from hiring the person.

Kissing the President’s butt is unbecoming, Mike.

-U.S. employers must attempt to hire American workers
Before going to a placement agency with a job, U.S. employers must try to hire American workers. They will have to attest their efforts to the agency. Believe me, this is a tough requirement that will protect the American worker because people will be watching and checking-out employers.

Believe you? What on earth have you written to this point that would ever lead me to do that?

Step Four: Strict employer enforcement

With a guest worker program in place, there is no reason why an employer ever should hire or continue to employ an illegal alien. Employers who choose to operate outside of the system, however, must face tough fines in order to be made to comply. That is what the enforcement system and the new fine structure will do.

The strict employer enforcement contained in the House-passed bill is contained in my bill. It sets forth a nationwide electronic employment verification system through which employers will verify the legality of each prospective and current employee. As a final incentive, my bill requires that in order to hire a guest worker, the employer must be a participant in the employment verification system.

Reason? Reason? The very first employers to hire illegal aliens didn’t have a reason. They merely had and decided to act on a preference for cheap and more compliant labor. Then others who probably had some scruples at some point in their lives were forced to break the same laws in order to compete. The “jobs that Americans won’t do” myth was started simply to make these unethical and immoral scofflaws feel better about themselves.

Conclusion: We can do this

I believe the Border Integrity and Immigration Reform Act is a solution that conservatives can embrace. I believe this legislation is a solution that those opposing amnesty can embrace. I believe this proposal offers a solution that those calling for humane treatment of the illegal aliens in our midst can embrace. And, I believe that this solution is one the American people can embrace. This is the real rational middle ground.

Mike, what Bizzaro world do you live in?

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Assimilation, Culture, Fisking, Immigration, Outsourcing